Faithful.

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself."                  {2 Timothy 2:13}

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel so disgusted with yourself for not speaking up and telling someone about Jesus? I have. Today. It was pitiful.  


While I was reading my Bible at Barnes and Noble, a woman walked over to me and started talking. I could not understand her due to her thick accent and asked her to repeat herself again. This woman was from "Islan" (don't know what she meant by that...) and she was asking if I would write on some cards for her because she does not know how to write in English very well. I was happy to help her! Apparently, she used to live in Oklahoma a few years ago before her husband passed away. She came back to visit his grave cite and was staying with one of her husbands close friend for three weeks. Her plans were cut short, however, when she found out about "an emergency" concerning family back home. She has to return home a week early this Friday, much to her displeasure. She was the sweetest thing and was so funny! She insisted on paying me for "being an angel" by helping her. I did not want to take her money, but she would not leave without me taking it. I wished her a good and safe trip home, shook her hand, and she went on her way.


The ironic thing about all of this is earlier on my way to Barnes and Noble, I prayed that I would get a chance to speak to someone about the Gospel. I felt God saying "you are probably going to have to GO speak to someone..." and I, in my utter laziness, prayed that it would be super great if He just caused someone to just come up to me (I'm ridiculous...I know). I quickly prayed again...."scratch that........that was stupid and I'm so sorry that I am so lazy sometimes." I sat at that Barnes and Noble for a few hours reading my Bible, journaling, and praying. I half-way did not expect anything to happen today, but a woman, who I have no idea if she has even heard the name of Jesus, walked right up to me. What a PERFECT opportunity to share Jesus!!! Did I take it? No. I was so nervous that I would upset her (Jesus tends to stir things up a bit--which...I'm thankful for) that I just did not say a thing to her about the most precious thing in my life- Jesus. I could not seem to figure out a way to bring it up without it being "weird". I'm a coward. 


God is so faithful. He even answered by LAZY PRAYER by causing a woman to come to ME! How ridiculous am I that I cannot speak to a woman who I will probably never meet again?? He is faithful even when I am faithless. Why couldn't I have just said "can I share something with you?" It's that simple! I know we all mess up, but for some reason this one really hit me. I do not know this woman and I could not tell you if she is saved or not, but I have been praying for sweet Estie all day that one day her eyes will be open to the Gospel and Jesus Christ who saves. 


It seems I have to learn things the hard way to really understand what God wants me to know. God is faithful even when I am faithless. I praise Him that I cannot mess up His plan, and I pray that God will bring someone else in Estie's life that will speak the word of truth to her.